Saturday, December 27, 2003
heLLo bLog..

haIz.. i feeL so siAnz.. sICk fOR sO maNy daYS.. noW stiLL teeNy wEeny heAdaChe.. feeL so aWfuL.. haiZ.. waT shD i dO siA.. i'M stiLL bLur.. aM i reaDy tO quiT mY courSe? iF no poLy accEpts mE... wAt wiLL i dO? heLp my uNc paCk pirAtEd dVD? haHA.. nO.. thEy bUy dVD theN aSk mE heLp chaNge paCkagIng onLy laRz.. haIZ.. i feeL sO veRy eXtreME bLur.. anD sO sOrry tO fioNa.. feEL aS thou i AlwayS duA heR.. nO laRz.. i reaLLy siCk.. my dAys aRe numBered.. tO quiT oR noT to.. haIz.. wAt shD i dO? mY mOM wonT heLp me dEcidE.. i reAd mY hoRoscoPE. saY geMinI noT baD bE teaCher.. aM i reaLLy reAdy tO giVe iT aLL uP? wiLL my naME bE blAcklisTed? i duNno... haiZ.. waT shD i dO? caN sANta cOme visIT mE anD teLL me hoW? aLL i waNt fOR xMAs iS a aNs tO quiT oR noT to.. iF i quiT.. i wiLL loSe iT aLL.. thE chaNces tO fuLfiL a chilDhoOd dreAm.. buT i dOnt.. i wiLL losE thE fReedOm i sO veRy craVe foR.. waT shD i dO? bLog aR? caN u heLp me?

hmM.. i leArnt TheRe aRe 12 dAys fOr xmAs..shuWei teLL me dE.. hMm.. gueSs he'S aTTachEd.. gOod goOd.. reAd in wEnyaN's bLog aBt hiM hoLdinG haNds wiTh a gaL oR waT? hahA... /mE bE a baD gaL.. noT mY buSineSs anYwAy.. haIz.. i toLd hiM yDay wAs boXinG dAy.. hE diN knOw.. huH? hE cHrisTiaN leHz.. waT thE.. aiYoh.. i fEel i sO loSe iT aLL.. haiZ... thEn hE sAy wAt prEzZies cAnt bE shaRed.. hmM.. hE muZ haVe reCeiVed a LoT frOm gaLs.. thEn eh.. haHa.. hE's a niCe frEn.. haiZ..

thEn.. gOt a nS fRen gOin tO brUnEi FoR twO weEks.. sO weIRd.. hE saY wiLL miSs me.. aR? hoW to miSs soMeone u nV sEe b4? craPPing siA... gO seAfoOd reStauranT beTTer.. gOt craB anD loBsteR anD fisH.. haHa.. haiZ.. i feEL sO idioT.. hmM.. i toLd hiM tO geT mE souVeniRs.. theN hE saY waT u waNT? i saY i waNT 10 toN oF peTroL.. haHa.. iZzit brUnei gOt evEr laStinG oF peTroL dE? hEe.. hE sAy i waNna buRn whoLe sinGaporE aR? i sAy i wAnnA heLp moM's caR gOt evEr-LastinG peTroL.. haHA.. feEL so laME.. aM i fliRtinG? no baHz.. anYWay.. he ciaOz le.. anD neXt daY.. 9++. hE sEnd mE sMs sAy onLy onE daY onLy.. anD hE miSs mY voiCe lE.. laMer siA.. haHa..

hmM... LiFe is sO mysTeriouS.. duNno waT iS gOin tO haPPen thE neXt secoNd.. haiZ.. i deSirE mY oWn fReeDom.. tO dO waT i wAnna.. bUt paRenTs tOo strIct le baHz? oR izZit beCause i'M stiLL onLy a 17-yR-oLd imMaturE younG gaL.. wHo iS eRm.. yaH.. struGGling tO bE a AduLT? i duNno.. i hoPe theRe is a tiMe maChinE.. aNd i cAn gO baCk in tiME.. haIz.. i sO miSsed mY sEc sCh daYs.. eveN thoU i maY noT knOw maNy ppL.. iF i stAy onLy in mY sEc sCh dAys anD reFusE to groW up.. i goNna miSs shuWei... fioNa.. amBer.. iVan.. sO maNy ppL.. haiZ.. thEn theY woNt waLk paSt in my liFe.. hmM.. i'M thinKing oF hoW dEsmonD loOk.. sO long diN sEe hiM le.. fioNa saY hE haS shorT haiR noW.. that i knOw.. anD hE's in spEc? aR? suRe veRy cuTe de..hmM.. wonDer whEn caN sEe hiM agaIn.. fioNa sEem to bE. i duNno.. hmM.. i stiLL thiNk shE n wY cOuLd bE a P.E.R.F.E.C.T maTcH? eH.. deSpitE wAt haPpen.. whEn a guY fEeLs jeaLousfoR uR frEnz evEn foR a whiLe.. iT iS woRth keEping hiM.. hEe.. yaH.. that'S hoW i thiNk..
win! *~aUrOra~* 23:06

Just for this morning, I am
going to step over the laundry,
and pick you up and take you to the park to
play.

Just for this morning, I will
leave the dishes in the sink,
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle
of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will
unplug the telephone and
keep the computer off, and sit with you in the
backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will
not yell once, not even a
tiny grumble when
you scream and whine for the ice
cream truck, and I will buy you one if
he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't
worry about what you are
going to be when you grow up, or second guess
every decision I have made
where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let
you help me bake cookies, and I won't
stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take
us to McDonald's and buy us both a
Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold
you in my arms and tell you a story
about how you were born and how
much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let
you splash in the tub and
not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let
you stay up late while we sit on the
porch and count all the stars.


Just for this evening, I will
snuggle beside you for hours,
and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run
my finger through your hair
as you pray, I will simply be grate! ful that God
has given me the greatest gift ever
given.

I will think about the mothers
And fathers who are searching
for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are
visiting their children's graves
instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and
fathers who are in hospital rooms watching
their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't
handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you good night I
will hold you a little tighter, a
little longer. It is then, that I will
thank God for you, and ask
him for nothing, except one more day.............

win! *~aUrOra~* 00:39

Friday, December 26, 2003
aiYoh.. sO loNg diN bLog le.. cuZ i in gRamz' plAce... sO lonG diN go lE.. hmM.. sPend so manY houRs laGGin cuZ i wEnt to theIr plAce eMpty haNded n staYed thEre tiLL thiS eveNing.. sinCe erM... moN... sO hoW lonG i gonE le? feEL liKe haLf a monTh diN seE huIyi le.. cuZ eH.. eRm... twO weEKs diN seE heR le.. wEnt to mSia anD grAm anD eveRythiNg.. i feeL so aLone.. hmM.. thiS xmAs.. i dIn gO ouT.. wAs vomItinG... thEn heAdachE anD sTomaCh aChe-inG.. haIz... poOr me.. siCk on xMas daY.. haIz... haIz.. reCeivEd sO mucH smS on xMas... 27 to bE prEciSe.. buT onLy O.N.E so-caLLEd xmAs caRd.. haiYo.. i reCeive so much laSt yeAr.. feLt sO aLone.. aS thoU i'm thE onLy onE leFt on eArth.. haiZ...

aM i aLonE oUt thEre.. to baTTLe mY inNer thouGhts?

haiZ.. in mY grAmmA plAce fOr sO maNy daYs.. i diD NO prOj.. i diD nTH! absoluTeLy notHing.. haIZ.. xcePt laZing aRd beIng an extRa stuFF in mY grAmMa plaCe.. aNd eH.. waStinG heR eLectrIciTy n wAter biLLs.. haiZ.. i waTcheD sCV fOr so maNy houRs.. anD i reaLiseD steW-piG mTV chaNneL keEp playinG saMe sonG...britNEy's me against thE musIc aR? aiyoH.. anD elvA's nEw sonG.. haiZ.. i feLL in loVe witH somE neW sonGs toO.. heE...
win! *~aUrOra~* 23:31

Monday, December 22, 2003
waH~ so loNg nv bLog agaIn.. eveRybody'S bZ or waT? haiZ.. LiFe is truLy sO sianZ.. EveN mY frIenDsteR stArtinG to aCt reTaRd.. Connection Failed
The requested URL could not be retrieved..

haIz.. beEn liStEninG abIT toO muCh oF erM.. drEamZ fM's (ShD i sTay).. reMembeR? tht'S thE theMe sOnG fOr cheMistrY.. mY so faV shoW on 5.. hmM.. thE lyrIcs prEtTy thE erM.. saD.. thiS peRson so goOd to tHe gaL.. but yEt shE toRe hiS heaRt apaRt..
win! *~aUrOra~* 12:53